39 Comical, Funny Retirement Gifts for 2022

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After giving cash gifts to retirees, you should provide them funny retirement gifts to make them laugh. This list is made up of retirement gifts that add life to a party and put smiles on the faces of retirees. Retirement is worthy of celebration, and these gifts help celebrate the event.

Whether you are looking for retirement gifts for men or retirement gifts for women, there is something suitable on this list. Funny retirement gifts are sometimes cheesy, but some are thoughtful retirement gifts. There are some that would make excellent retirement gifts for teachers.

    • our favorite
    You're Only Old Once Book

    When invited to a retirement party, consider this book as one of the retirement gifts. It gives party-goers a chance to share a laugh. The same rhyme and rhythm found in Dr. Seuss children’s books are offered in this book also. It is the ideal gift to celebrate the milestone.

    +Excellent gift for Dr. Seuss lovers
    -Same message repeated on multiple pages
    Buy from Amazon
    • Senior's Texting Code Coffee Mug

      The mug makes everyone smile. Perhaps include a bag of favorite coffee to make it one of the personalized retirement gifts. The cup speaks for itself also. There are great phrases, such as ROFLACGU, which means ‘Rolling On the Floor, And Can’t Get Up.’ The printed design is displayed on both sides of the cup.

      +Microwave and dishwasher safe
      -Some requests for graphics
      Buy from Amazon
      • Funny Bumper Sticker

        Funny retirement gifts include this bumper sticker that explains there is no longer any need to rush. It lets other drivers know they should not tailgate or lay on the horn. There is nothing as urgent as getting to your destination in one piece. It is a perfect giggle gift.

        +Made of vinyl
        -Should be paired with something else
        Buy from Amazon
        • our favorite
        Senior Moments Memory Mints

        Mints are useful in helping you focus and jarring the memory. The concept has some scientific validity. That is not the point of this gift. It is intended to cause a smile every time the recipient reaches for a mint. The sturdy tine can be refilled. It’s an excellent gag gift.

        +Tin is a lovely keepsake
        -Robust mint flavor
        Buy from Amazon
        • Out of Business Cards

          When someone retires, they can throw away business cards and restock with them. Funny retirement gifts are perfect for retirees with a sense of humor looking forward to life without so many obligations. There are 15 high-quality cards inside the case. They are a humorous gift for a boss, friend, family member, coworker, woman, or man.

           

          +Nice silver case
          -Small number of cards
          Buy from Amazon
          • Honey Do Company Apron

            If the retiree in your life likes to grill, cook, or bake, treat them to thoughtful retirement gifts, such as this apron that adds a little humor. This fantastic apron has two waist-level pockets and an adjustable one-inch wide strap. It is made of cotton/poly twill fabric.

            +Well-made
            -No returns or exchanges
            Bonus Tips: This apron protects clothing from all kinds of accidents.

            Buy from Etsy
            • Retirement Coffee Mug

              The best part of retirement is being able to do whatever one wants and not being held accountable or punished. A retiree’s time is their own. This mug displays the fact in a form that you can read over and over while drinking late morning coffee. It is made of high-grade Orca Ceramic.

              +Microwave and dishwasher safe
              -Pricey
              Buy from Amazon
              • Coolie Drink Coolers

                These drink coolers are waiting and ready for the hands of the retired. If drinking beer is a way they like to spend some newfound time, these coolers will keep beer cold as ice. They are imprinted with a funny message that is printed on both sides.

                +Vibrant, lasting color
                -Curse word in message
                Buy from Amazon
                • I'm Retired Pint Glass

                  Retirement gifts for men may include this pint glass. It features a guy making an obscene gesture with an ‘I’m Retired’ etching. The glass is meant to be lighthearted and fun for the man who can’t wait to leave the workforce. It makes an excellent gift for members and friends who appreciate this kind of humor.

                  +Long-lasting, quality etching
                  -May be offensive to some people
                  Buy from Amazon
                  • Kiss My Putt Golf Balls

                    The ideal opportunity to spend time on the golf course is after retirement. These comical golf balls will make the recipient smile and laugh. They are a fun gift to give to a retiree. There are three balls in the set – each with a different saying imprinted on it.

                    +Fast delivery
                    -More for display than play
                    Buy from Etsy
                    • Work for my Wife Mug

                      Mugs like this are retirement gifts for men who have retired and now spend more time with their wives. The message is printed on both sides of the cup. It makes quite a conversation piece at a retirement party. The imprint is a long-lasting, vibrant, and lead-free design.

                      +Wide C-shaped handle
                      -Only holds 11 ounces
                      Buy from Amazon
                      • Wish Jar

                        This jar serves two purposes. It will have special meaning for the retiree. Place the blank tickets and wish jar out at the retirement party. Guests fill out tickets expressing congratulations and personal wishes for the retiree. The guest of honor fills out tickets with adventures and projects they hope to accomplish after retirement.

                        +100 tickets included
                        -Complaints about the condition of the lid
                        Bonus Tips: Future ambitions and well wishes are enjoyed after the party is over.

                        Buy from Amazon
                        • Retirement Clock

                          This clock is an excellent early retirement gift for someone who is marking off days on the calendar. It is fully customizable to set for the exact day, hour, minute, and second until the retiree walks out the door and resets the clock for upcoming adventures.

                          +Easy to read screen
                          -Small - five inches in length
                          Buy from Amazon
                          • Retirement Gift Book

                            Whether people dream about retirement or dread it, a sense of humor makes it better. The delightful book is a superb retirement gift for an animal lover. It pokes fun at leaving the workforce adorably and gently with animals at the center. The book is among funny retirement gifts for women especially.

                            +Collection of colorful photos and quotes
                            -Only 4 inches X 4 inches in size
                            Buy from Amazon
                            • The Queen Has Retired Socks

                              One of the first things a woman leaving the work wants to do is put her feet up. These socks are excellent retirement gifts for women. The pair of hilarious socks give others something to read as she does so. There is a cheeky message imprinted on the bottoms. The socks hold up to many washings and remain well-fitting, comfortable, soft, and colorful.

                              +Money-back guarantee
                              -A bit thin
                              Buy from Amazon
                              • The Legend Has Retired Whiskey Glass

                                When looking for the best retirement gifts for someone retiring in 2022, this is the perfect gift. It makes a big hit and fits right in. The glass comes with a cleaning cloth. It has an ergonomically designed thick bottom and feels good in the hand. The glass offers clarity for showcasing a variety of drinks.

                                +Comes in durable gift box
                                -Etching may fade
                                Buy from Amazon
                                • Funny Wine Gift Basket

                                  A wine gift basket includes several retirement gifts for women. This one contains a wine tumbler cup, stainless steel straw, brush, ceramic coaster, retirement socks, and keychain in a beautiful gift box. The set was thoughtfully crafted to celebrate a retirement milestone. It is an ideal gift for the soon-to-be or newly retired woman.

                                  +No need to gift wrap
                                  -Some complaints about packaging
                                  Buy from Amazon
                                  • Retirement Gift Wine Bag

                                    This bag fits standard wine bottles. It is made of durable and reusable burlap. The bag does not smell or fade easily. It is a portable and practical gift. The high-quality material and drawstring have a role in protecting the bottle. It is easy to carry and store. The bag is perfect for party supplies.

                                    +Well-designed bag
                                    -Wine not included
                                    Bonus Tips: The bag can be used for other gifts

                                    Buy from Amazon
                                    • Musician Humor T-Shirt

                                      This unisex shirt is tapered slightly and is less boxy than mass-market t-shirts. It is 90 percent cotton, which translates to smooth and soft. The shirt provides a balance of durability and comfort. Quality ink is vibrant and highly crack resistant. It is phthalate- and carcinogen-free. Shirts like this make excellent retirement gifts.

                                      +Tagless tag
                                      -A few complaints about sizing
                                      Buy from Amazon
                                      • Retirement Survival Hat

                                        Retirement is a memorable and significant event in the life of a person. Help celebrate with unique retirement gifts, such as this retirement survival hat. It comes with a gold letter sash. The hat is made of high-quality fabric that is durable, reusable, and long-lasting. A snap closure makes it adjustable.

                                        +Money-back guarantee
                                        -Poor grammar on the sash
                                        Buy from Amazon
                                        • Funny Black and Gold Mug

                                          Put this item on the list of retirement gifts for men. This mug has the same message as a mug featured above. What makes it among the best retirement gifts is the addition of a lid and spoon. The cover helps keep contents hot. It is well-packaged and protects the cup in a stunning gift box. This mug is an excellent way to express love and gratitude.

                                          +Words won't fade
                                          -Only holds 11 ounces
                                          Buy from Amazon
                                          • most popular
                                          50 States, 5000 Ideas Book

                                          Travel experts at National Geographic showcase the best travel experiences in all 50 states in this richly illustrated book. Suggestions include sea otters on the California coast, the oldest street in New York City, dinosaur trails in Colorado, swamp tours in Louisiana, and Tennessee’s largest yard sale in the world.

                                          +A section on Canada territories and provinces included
                                          -No maps included
                                          Buy from Amazon
                                          • Not My Problem Any More Retirement Tumbler

                                            Characterized by a joke, the cute tumbler belongs on the list of funny retirement gifts. It has a curved body for easy holding. The rose gold finish is exquisite for office time, outdoors, and home. It is an elegantly designed wine tumbler with a lid for maximum splash-proof capacity.

                                            +Unbreakable
                                            -Hand wash
                                            Buy from Amazon
                                            • Golf Retirement T-Shirt

                                              A bit of golf humor screen print is applied and cured to this 30/1 ringspun 90 percent cotton blend t-shirt. In geek t-shirt lingo, that means it is smooth and soft and has a high thread count. Top-notch inks that are vibrant, long-lasting, and better for the environment are used.

                                              +Slightly tapered fit
                                              -May shrink slightly
                                              Bonus Tips: This t-shirt is available in Prime 'Seven-Day Try Before You Buy.'

                                              Buy from Amazon
                                              • Retirement Tumbler for a Grandmother

                                                Retirement gift ideas for women may include this humorous wine tumbler cup. It is rust-resistant, unbreakable, sleek, and durable. The tumbler is insulated to keep beverages hot or cold. It comes with a BPA-free lid, straw brush, straw, and gift box. The cup is suitable for indoor and outdoor use.

                                                +Available in a variety of colors
                                                -Hand wash
                                                Buy from Amazon
                                                • Hello Pension Goodbye Tension Socks

                                                  These socks are a fun retirement gift for someone who wishes to celebrate retirement in style. The message on the soles of the socks can be read, either way, making the socks suitable for either foot. It is an excellent retirement party gag gift. They are stylish enough for any occasion.

                                                  +Extremely comfortable
                                                  -A bit thin
                                                  Buy from Amazon
                                                  • Retirement Makeup Bag

                                                    The image on the makeup bag is in vivid, clear, and bright color. It is a high-quality pouch that is hardy and durable. The makeup bag measures 9 inches x 7 inches 2.6 inches. It is a perfect travel bag size. There is a heavy-duty zipper. It can be spot cleaned with water and mild soap. It is a good retirement gift for someone who plans to travel. 

                                                    +Multipurpose bag
                                                    -Stick-on vinyl lettering
                                                    Buy from Amazon
                                                    • The Legend Has Retired Ball Cap

                                                      This retirement bundle has a blue letter sash and classy, stylish hat to honor the retiree. It is made of high-quality material. The cap is a one-size-fits-all, adjustable item. It is 31.5 inches long. The sash is an excellent party supply, sure to cause a giggle or two. Put it the list of funny retirement gifts for men. 

                                                      +Well-made
                                                      -Hand wash only
                                                      Buy from Amazon
                                                      • Funny Retirement Gift Label

                                                        The labels are repositionable and water-resistant. Just peel and stick. Wine can be chilled or kept in the refrigerator with no problem. The labels come in quantities of one, two, four, or eight. They are available in three sizes. The labels fit most standard-size wine or champagne bottles and make for unique retirement gifts.

                                                        +Strong enough to allow adjustments
                                                        -Wine not included
                                                        Buy from Etsy
                                                        • Smells Like Retirement Candle

                                                          Retirement gift ideas, such as this candle, are available in three sizes – four-, nine-, or 16-ounce. Gift boxes are available in the two larger sizes. The candle is made of soy wax. There are 15 scents available that include the funny ‘Unicorn Farts.’ Food, wood, cologne, and other scents are available.

                                                          +Beautifully handmade
                                                          -Trim wick before using each time
                                                          Bonus Tips: There are also wax melts available that are heated in a wax warmer.

                                                          Buy from Etsy
                                                          • Bring Me the Remote Retirement Socks

                                                            These high-quality cotton socks are breathable and soft. They are comfortable on the feet. The socks have anti-slip wording printed on the soles. They are unforgettable and meaningful. The socks are highly absorbent. Give them to someone who has worked hard and deserves to kick back and put up their feet.

                                                            +Nice addition to a retirement basket
                                                            -Run a bit small
                                                            Buy from Etsy
                                                            • Retired Teacher Tote Bag

                                                              This tote has an interesting theme that adds highlight and fun to the retiree’s life. It is among the thoughtful retirement gifts. The roomy bag measures 18 inches X 15 inches X 5¾ inches. It has handles that comfortably fit over the shoulders. The printing on the canvas bag is rustic and has a distressed finish.

                                                              +Heavy-duty material
                                                              -Light colors soil easily
                                                              Buy from Etsy
                                                              • Customizable License to Chill Retirement Gift

                                                                If you are looking for funny personalized retirement gifts, this certificate fills the bills. It is created with calligraphy-style lettering that looks official. The signature on the certificate is by ‘U. R. Outtahere.’ The seal has two messages – Goodbye Tension, Hello Pension, and No Work, No Problem.

                                                                +Can be printed on white or parchment paper
                                                                -Emailed digital file that you must print
                                                                Buy from Etsy
                                                                • Retirement Happy Hour Bottle Opener

                                                                  The handmade steel bottle opener has a faux leather handle. It is available in nine colors. The opener is durable and will last a long time. There are three message options from which to choose. You can personalize the bottle opener on the back. Engraving is always done in black lettering.

                                                                  +High-quality item
                                                                  -Returns and exchanges not accepted
                                                                  Buy from Etsy
                                                                  • Whiskey Stones Gift Set

                                                                    Chill a drink without adding ice that waters it down. You taste the rich, full flavor or your favorite beverage that is chilled to the perfect sipping temperature. These whiskey stones allow enjoying a drink without diluting it. The set includes the rustic granite coasters and gorgeous crystal glasses.

                                                                    +Rocks are made of food grade stainless steel
                                                                    -Complaints about the condition of the box.
                                                                    Buy from Amazon
                                                                    • Leather Bookmark

                                                                      A handmade bookmark is a lovely gift for someone moving to the next chapter in life. Leather bookmarks last for years. If the retiree loves to read, this is one of the thoughtful retirement gifts available. It is thin and will not dame the spine of a book.

                                                                      +Water-resistant finish
                                                                      -Color may vary
                                                                      Bonus Tips: This is a suitable gift for other milestones, such as graduation, a new job, or any new beginning.

                                                                      Buy from Etsy
                                                                      • Eat Drink and Be Retired Cutting Board

                                                                        Unique requirement gifts are the best retirement gifts. It is unlikely a retiree will receive two cutting boards. This one is made of top-grade hardwood. No lacquers, stains, or chemicals are used. Only food-safe glue and mineral oil are used in the manufacture of the board.

                                                                        +Quality product
                                                                        -Engraving color may vary.
                                                                        Bonus Tips: Another selection of cutting boards can be found on the Forest Décor website.

                                                                        Buy from Etsy
                                                                        • Bottle Opener Wood Sign

                                                                          Hang this rustic bronze beer bottle opener on the wall with the two sawtooth hangers provided. The engraved design is placed on a light walnut-stained overlay. None of the items are exactly alike because they are handcrafted. The knots, grains, and grooves add charm and character to each item.

                                                                          +Order are securely packaged and insured
                                                                          -No exchanges or refunds
                                                                          Buy from Etsy
                                                                          • Retirement Gift Candle

                                                                            Choose from 12 scents when giving this candle to a friend who is retiring. The candle is hand-poured with care. It is made of all-natural coconut wax, which burns cleaner and longer than soy wax. The fragrance oils used are phthalate-free and throw off exceptional scents. An eco-friendly cotton braided wick is used.

                                                                            +Scents improve with every burn
                                                                            -Trim wick after each use
                                                                            Buy from Etsy

                                                                          Conclusion

                                                                          Funny retirement gifts are a bit tricky. The list above is made up of gifts meant to tickle the funny bone. It is full of a variety of items. Some may not be appropriate for everyone, but there is something suitable for nearly anyone. They are excellent items to complement cash gifts.